Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Backstory

I wish I'd thought to start this before. But, better late than never I suppose. Of course, now we have to play catch up, right? Well, here, then....

I was always a skinny kid, and then I grew into a slender woman. When my husband and I got married, I was 23 years old and had a nice 135 pounds on my 5'4" frame. And I wanted to lose five pounds.

After the wedding, well, that's when things went south, so to speak. The short story, without all the whining, is that I married the absolute definition of a workaholic. And he was not only working his full-time-plus job, he was also working on building his own business on the side. He was also not the least bit interested in giving up fishing trips, late nights out, or anything else that took him out of the house even more.

For a while, I was working in a doctor's office, with an hour commute each way, and that's when it started. I'd swing through the drive thru for dinner. I was going to be eating alone, anyway. Didn't want to cook for myself. It seemed too much effort. Also, you know, I was lonely. And food helped.

Then, I quit my job and started working with my husband on that business he was building. The office was in our basement and so I found myself home, all day, every day. The only time I got to go see another living human being was when I ran to Wendy's or McDonald's for lunch. And then when I went back for dinner. And in between, there were Doritos to keep me company. Who needs a husband, when you have Doritos? Or Chester Cheetah? And Coke. Mmmmm Coca-Cola. Sweet nectar of the gods....

Well, look at that, within a year, I was up twenty pounds. I was unhappy, but didn't realize I wasn't just unhappy about my weight. I was unhappy about a lot of things. My weight was an excuse. I found that out when I went to Weight Watchers, lost those twenty pounds, plus a few more, and was still sad, and the weight slowly came back.

Just as I was thinking it would never happen, I got pregnant. I was 152 pounds the day I found out. I know, because I weighed myself every morning. And then beat myself up for gaining another three ounces, or whatever it was that day.

Our first daughter, Joey, was born in June of 2005. I was very impressed with my body for only gaining about 19 pounds while I was pregnant. What helped that was being totally nauseous for three months. I could barely eat, and lost a bunch of weight in the first trimester. I wasn't worried for my baby, because I knew my body had plenty of fat stores to draw from to nourish her. And I was right, because she is just perfect.

After I had Joey, I quickly lost all the baby weight, and was down to one-forty-something. As anyone with a newborn can attest, daily weigh ins, or, hell, daily SHOWERS, are hard to work into your schedule! So, I lost track of my weight for a while, and I have no idea what I weighed when I got pregnant with our second daughter, Kimmie.

But, I can tell you, that, again, I was sick as a dog in the beginning, and that I did lose weight again during the first trimester, and that the baby was born happy, healthy, and totally mellow.

So, I know that my body knows how to use my fat for fuel. I just didn't know how to make it do that without being pregnant. And I am totally done being pregnant, my friends. Totally done.

Over the past couple years since Kimmie's been born (she's almost 3 at this writing), I have made several changes in my life that have improved my happiness level. Well, the first thing is, I stopped working with my husband. That's improved our relationship vastly. And given me time to build my own copywriting empire. (Almost there. I need some minions.) So, I'm doing what I love, and my darling husband is around more. Well, you know, he's closer to 40 than 20 these days. Can't handle those late nights as well as he used to.

Also? You know what? He's decided that he enjoys my company. I have always suspected that was why he married me. Finally the proof.

So. Hey! I'm HAPPY! But I'm overweight. That's the last thing that's bugging me. Well, that, and the fact that I have a kid who enjoys peeing down the heating vent in her bedroom. (And people tell me the teenage years are going to be WORSE than this?)

And so, I am losing weight. And here's the awesome thing, I don't have to get pregnant to do it. Thank sweet baby Jesus.

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